Hiya! Take a break from your busy day and laugh at, empathize with, contemplate, these witty and profound Quips (up first) and Quotes (scroll below) from friendly 39ers, Internet roaming, and my wandering mind.

Quips – Aging with Wit

A reporter asked the late Lionel Barrymore if he still found acting as much fun as it used to be. “Look, son, I’m 75 years old,” Barrymore snorted. “Nothing is as much fun as it used to be.”
~ Jim Lowe in “My Favorite Jokes” Parade, 1971

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
~ Joey Adams*

I’m too old to be governed by fear of dumb people.
~ Rochelle quote from a 2012 TV show or movie … don’t recall what, but reminds me of politics

I was always taught to respect my elders and I’ve now reached the age when I don’t have anybody to respect.
~ George Burns*, actor; at age 94

Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.
~ Robert Orben*, comedy writer; speech writer for Gerald R. Ford

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly … and lie about your age.
~ Lucille Ball

Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.
~ David Bowie 

Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair? She wanted to rock and roll!

You know you’re getting old when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
~ Jim Lowe in “My Favorite Jokes” Parade, 1971

You know you’re getting older, when Happy Hour is a nap!
~ Another age-old tavern quote


Quotes – Life, Plain & Simple

The Difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense. Life doesn’t.
~ Joseph L. Mankiewicz*, film director, writer, producer

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.
~ Vernon Law, Pittsburgh Pirates retired baseball pitcher (1950-1967)

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
and …
One “oh shit” can erase a thousand attaboys.
~ Scott Adams, Dilbert cartoonist.

I want to be more than I am, but I don’t know how.
~ Rockford Files: A Blessing in Disguise, 1995 TV movie

If a thing is old, it is a sign that it was fit to live. The guarantee of continuity is quality.
~ Eddie Rickenbacker*, America’s most successful fighter ace in WWI

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let’s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives!
~ Another age-old tavern quote

Life should be a little nuts, otherwise it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together …”
~ From movie, Rumor Has It, with Jennifer Aniston

Life will never be perfect, so we must learn how to make the imperfections work for us.
~ Rochelle, 1997

Some people take the bull by the horns – others just shoot it.
~ Jim Lowe, New York DJ, in “My Favorite Jokes” Parade, 1971

Sometimes I open my mouth and things come out that I didn’t even know were in there …
~ Ben Matlock; Matlock rerun, WGN-TV, 2002

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Who is more foolish – the fool, or the fool who follows him?
~ Star Wars (movie)

With enough courage you can do without a reputation.
~ from Gone With the Wind; Rhett Butler

*Culled from The Quotable Quote Book by Merrit Malloy & Shauna Sorensen, 1990